1. Pull the ugliest faces possible just to see what you look like.
2. Use a magnifying mirror so that you can see every pore and hair on your face.
3. Collect any hair strands that have fallen out and swirl them on the walls of the shower.
4. Spend your time after your shower picking off all the hairs that have stuck themselves to your arms and legs.
5. And extract hair that’s slid into your buttcrack.
6. Convince yourself that no matter how tightly shut your eyes, a bit of shampoo has gotten into your eye.
7. Dramatically rinse out your mouth a dozen times because you’ve got a weird shampooe-y taste.
8. Get indents on your thighs from resting your elbows on your legs while you poo.
9. Inspect the toilet after you’ve gone to the bathroom on your period.
10. Remove a pad/tampon and then sit on the toilet for a long time to see if any blood will ~plop~ out.